Adventures with PhenomeMom
By Amy Martin
2007-04-17
Tim Greenway
Amy and her 8 1/2 year old daughter, Winter, explore activities that fun for both mom and kid.
The other night the one that brought us a snow storm in April I decided
it was time to break out the stashed summer clothes for the old once-over.
After a lengthy try-this-one-on-again session, we found that almost nothing
fit: Winterıs size 6 shirts barely reached the top of her pants, which she
claimed were giving her a wicked wedgie.
Damn kids just have to grow, donıt they? Time for a shopping trip.
Just great, I mumbled under my breath. I hate people well, rude people
and they seem to populate all shopping areas. Itıs a frigginı war zone out
there but Iım too old school to shop online, so we geared up for battle.
I was tipped off to a sale at Kohlıs in Westbrook, so Winter and I decided
to go right after school. Less people shop then. Weıre more likely to avoid
the masses that way.
Entering the store, we found what looked like a trash can on wheels.
Apparently, these contraptions are their buggies, or cahts, as the Mainers
call them. I tried to pawn it off on Winter, but she wasnıt having it. I
pushed it wheel-barrow style for several aisles before I saw someone pushing
it upright. Iım an idiot. Mom: 0, shopping trip: 1.
It wasnıt until we reached the check-out that things got ugly. Waiting in
line, I de-hangered our purchases. The line grew exponentially and more
cashiers were brought in. ³Iıll take the next person in line,² a foreign,
nasal voice called out. Being the next person in line, I gathered my things
only to be cut off by a lady, three customers back, who bolted for the
register. ³Un-be-lieeevable,² I said loud enough for her to hear. Mom: 0,
shopping trip: 2.
And wouldnıt you know it, just then another register opened and the elderly
lady behind me went for it. I wasnıt going to be outmaneuvered again.
³Excuse me, I am the next customer in line,² I definitively pronounce as I
side-stepped in front of her. ³Hmmpf,² she grumbled. Winter, hugging her new
clothes, barely noticed this exchange. Mom: 1, shopping trip: 2!
As I smugly paid for my purchases, I realized I just engaged in department
store battle with a lady who could be my grandmother. Another reason why I
shouldnıt be allowed out of the house.
it was time to break out the stashed summer clothes for the old once-over.
After a lengthy try-this-one-on-again session, we found that almost nothing
fit: Winterıs size 6 shirts barely reached the top of her pants, which she
claimed were giving her a wicked wedgie.
Damn kids just have to grow, donıt they? Time for a shopping trip.
Just great, I mumbled under my breath. I hate people well, rude people
and they seem to populate all shopping areas. Itıs a frigginı war zone out
there but Iım too old school to shop online, so we geared up for battle.
I was tipped off to a sale at Kohlıs in Westbrook, so Winter and I decided
to go right after school. Less people shop then. Weıre more likely to avoid
the masses that way.
Entering the store, we found what looked like a trash can on wheels.
Apparently, these contraptions are their buggies, or cahts, as the Mainers
call them. I tried to pawn it off on Winter, but she wasnıt having it. I
pushed it wheel-barrow style for several aisles before I saw someone pushing
it upright. Iım an idiot. Mom: 0, shopping trip: 1.
It wasnıt until we reached the check-out that things got ugly. Waiting in
line, I de-hangered our purchases. The line grew exponentially and more
cashiers were brought in. ³Iıll take the next person in line,² a foreign,
nasal voice called out. Being the next person in line, I gathered my things
only to be cut off by a lady, three customers back, who bolted for the
register. ³Un-be-lieeevable,² I said loud enough for her to hear. Mom: 0,
shopping trip: 2.
And wouldnıt you know it, just then another register opened and the elderly
lady behind me went for it. I wasnıt going to be outmaneuvered again.
³Excuse me, I am the next customer in line,² I definitively pronounce as I
side-stepped in front of her. ³Hmmpf,² she grumbled. Winter, hugging her new
clothes, barely noticed this exchange. Mom: 1, shopping trip: 2!
As I smugly paid for my purchases, I realized I just engaged in department
store battle with a lady who could be my grandmother. Another reason why I
shouldnıt be allowed out of the house.