I have serious hosting anxiety. One of my multiple issues is that I want the house and yard to be spotless — I’m talking glossy magazine photo-shoot spotless. For this obsession with perfection, I blame my parents.
I grew up in a house where everything had its place: toys, jackets, mail — you name it. Shoes left in the family room could be found in the trash the next morning courtesy of my father. Nothing got in the way of my parents’ perfect home.
Today, Ted and I try to keep up with household chores, but despite our efforts, our home seems to be in a permanent state of disarray. Our daily routine of work, kids, meals, endless laundry and loading/unloading the dishwasher doesn’t leave much time for the bigger projects. What we need is Alice from the “Brady Bunch,” but in our case, she’d have to work for free.
My desire for a magazine-caliber home doesn’t allow time for menu planning either. And so inevitably, when guests arrive, I feel like I’m scrambling. I get too caught up in the details — which napkins to use, creating a nice looking cheese plate, lighting candles, that sort of thing.
I’m on edge and I suppose everyone else would be too if it were not for Ted’s natural ability to prepare a meal while also making our visitors feel welcome. His ease is a gift that I wish I had, but I have difficulty changing focus from preparations to entertaining.
In my quest to be more Zen-like when it comes to hosting, I’ve tried to take cues from the pros. We recently visited dear friends in Boulder, CO and I was so impressed by their hospitality. Their house looked great, but they didn’t get caught up in daily messes — they cleaned behind the scenes, when we were busy getting ready for the day or long after everyone went to bed.
And for food, they kept it straightforward — lots of cereal, yogurt and fruit for breakfast, allowing us to choose exactly what we liked. We picnicked one day for lunch and on another we had a simple, but delicious, soup and salad. For dinners, we grilled one night and ordered take out the next.
Their easy approach to hosting made me realize that I felt relaxed because they were so relaxed. I’m hoping I can follow their lead when the first of our guests arrive.
Jennifer Hazard lives and writes in Yarmouth.