So you may be wondering why I would choose to spend a perfectly good Tuesday night playing Nintendo’s uber trendy Wii. That’s a great question, and one that can only be fully answered by my editor. You see, she gets paid the big bucks to come up with crazy — wait, I mean creative! — ideas like sending the technically- and athletically-challenged to play a sporty video game.
But that’s OK, because I have a secret weapon: My husband, Adam. Unlike me, he played the sacred trinity of high school varsity sports (football, basketball and lacrosse), scored like a million goals and even won a few state championships. Of course, he then went on to play football in college, while I was mastering the art of drinking games. (Does that count as athletic?) And, on top of all this, he is a video game master, whether it’s the fun-loving Super Mario Bros. or the serial-killer-in-training Grand Theft Auto.
Pardon my Wii
Even with such an asset on my team, I admit to feeling a little nervous when we walked into Flask Lounge to play Wii. I was sure everyone would immediately peg me for the non-gamer I am and mock me in proper gear-head fashion. Thankfully that didn’t happen.
However, this lack of ridicule may have had something to do with the fact that we were the only ones there. But we sorta planned it that way, since we rolled in at the early hour of 6:30 pm. This cozy bar, which snuggles up behind Katahdin Restaurant in Portland’s West End, boasts a Wii hooked up to a massive flatscreen TV and actually hosts a Wii tournament on Thursday nights.
The cool thing is they willingly hand over the remotes to anyone who wants them (even people like myself who are obviously amateurs). And Andrea Fawcett (who own’s the place with Jessica Nolette) got the game all setup for us. Now that’s service!
We ordered a couple drinks, Adam ordered a Tuscan panini with sweet potato fries and we settled in for our adventure in Wii. The first step was deciding what to play. Our choices: tennis, baseball, bowling, golf and boxing.
We decided to go with tennis, since we’d played against each other in real life. In case you’ve never had the chance to get your Wii on, let me just explain that unlike the joystick junkie games of the past, the Wii requires that you actually mimic the moves of the sport you’re playing. This is why I was so thankful not to have much of an audience.
When it was my turn to serve, there were a lot of strange hand gestures, unnecessary flailings and maybe even some odd hopping moves. This might explain why Andrea came over to give me a tip on how to serve properly. (Again, I was really glad we didn’t have spectators.)
Getting our Wii on
As our tennis match got underway, it quickly became apparent that Adam was kicking my butt. Of course, this was no surprise. What was surprising was the sudden ache in my shoulder. I’d read about these Wii-induced sports injuries and mistakenly thought they were only for the pros.
So once we (read: our arms) grew tired of tennis, we moved on to golf. At first I was trying to imitate the whole golf swing thing but soon realized I could get away with a much gentler wrist movement. (By this point we had an audience, so I also was trying to keep my flailing in check.)
With Adam way under par and me about 27 million strokes over par, we then moved on to bowling. Imagine my utter amazement (and Adam’s absolute horror), when I turned out to be some sort of Wii bowling prodigy. With just a slight flick of my wrist, I bowled strike after strike.
While this was a definite boost for my ego, the same can’t be said for Adam’s. It also wasn’t the greatest thing for marital harmony. So with our glasses empty, our arms aching and our heads filled with the wonders of Wii, we paid our tab and headed off into the night, vowing to never speak of my Wii bowling wizardry again.