So, there I was on a snowy Friday evening with three dining companions, ready to chow down on every kind of meat I could imagine. But first I had to know how this whole revolving-guachos-with-meat-on-skewers thing worked.
Luckily our server was helpful, despite her heavy Belarus accent, and friends Kelly and Cynthia had previously experienced this style of dining in Fort Lauderdale. Regardless, three of the four of us managed to use our small round meat signs as coasters before realizing that the green side means “bring on the meat” and the red says “thanks, but I’m on a meat break.”
Gauchos is unique in that you pay one price for the experience ($29.99 in Portland, slightly less at the Manchester, NH location). The price includes the salad bar, bread in the form of yummy cheese puffs, hot sides (baby yellow potatoes, plantain, fried yucca, black beans and white rice) and any and every slice of meat you desire. (Be wary that drinks are not included and, though the beer prices are reasonable, the mojitos go for $9 a pop.)
Meals here begin with a trip to the salad bar, which is nothing spectacular — a variety of lettuce, baby spinach, tomatoes, cukes, green peppers, etc., with six dressings to choose from (but, sadly, no creamy Italian of honey mustard). The salad bar also offers potato salad, a tomato-based salad, chicken salad and Gauchos “famous” pineapple salad, which includes onions and peppers. Strangely enough, almost every one of these salads included peas (and so did the white rice), so if you’re not a fan of peas your options may be limited.
While eating our salads, we turned our cards to the green side, hoping to add a little meat to our plates. This got the immediate attention of our server, who asked “You want your meat NOW?” in a way that quickly made us realize we had made snafu No 2. OK, red it is.
Instead, Kelly tried some of the salmon, which is served along with the salad course. It came with an unidentified dipping sauce that had a mustardy flavor. When we asked a member of the waitstaff what it was, we were told “I think it’s some kind of tartar sauce.” Hhhhm. Not even close, but thanks for trying.
Finally, it was time for meat. And more meat. And even more meat.
First came the skewer of mini chicken pieces, paired with a lineup of sausages. Before we had a chance to dig in, a gaucho armed with tiny filets wrapped in bacon and turkey wrapped in bacon arrived. We couldn’t say no. Then came pork ribs, and immediately pork loin, short ribs and prime rib.
I was in heaven, but a bit overwhelmed by my meat-heaped plate. We turned our cards to red to stop the onslaught long enough to taste something. Here’s what ensued:
“This filet is yummy.”
“What am I supposed to be eating?” (this from Cynthia, whose chicken was very under-cooked)
“Which one’s the yucca and which is the plantain?”
“Can I have some more yucca?” (This from me.)
“Can I have some more plantain?” (Me again.)
“I would pick pork over any other meat.”
“Yum. Bacon, bacon, bacon.” (Yup, you guessed it.)
“The short ribs don’t really have any flavor.”
“The prime rib is awesome.”
And then, in the midst of the carnage, Kelly stopped her feeding and said: “Sometimes it kind of freaks me out that we eat other living beings.”
I gave her that look — the one all my friends know the meaning of — and flipped my card back to green.
When the meat-eating frenzy was over, we chose desserts (offered direct from Italy by Bindi), which are all priced at $5.25. There’s cheesecake, tiramisu round and chocolate fondant cake. Gauchos also serves Starbucks coffee and espresso.
It was an interesting meal for a few reasons, not the least of which is the interior design of the space. It’s cozy with brick walls, very spacious (we all thought it would make a great dance club) and the bar area is large and classy with plenty of wood and attractive lighting.
When it comes to the food at Gauchos, you need to come hungry to get your money’s worth. And, you have to understand that your meat is going to be cooked how it’s cooked. I’m not a fan of bloody beef but was fortunate enough to get an outside piece of the prime rib, which was brown with a little pink.
The food was good, but maybe not $240 for four people good (including drinks and tip). You pay for the variety (there are 12 meats in all, including chicken hearts — we passed — lamb, flank steak and sirloin) and the experience which is like none other in Portland. It’s worth checking out this place once — just don’t bring anyone who’s suffering from carnivore guilt.
— Karen Beaudoin
Gauchos Churrascaria Brazilian Steak House is located
at 100 Commercial St. in Portland. It’s open Mon.-Sat. 4-10 pm and Sun. 11:30 am-9 pm. Call 774-9460 or go to www.gauchosbraziliansteakhouse.com.