But these days, like most people, I’m trying to do my part to reduce my carbon footprint. Since I live downtown, I can walk to work, the grocery store, the movie theater, the video store, the bars and more restaurants than I can count (numbers and I don’t mix well either). Which means weeks can go by without me cranking out the carbon as I tool around in my car.
This got me thinking: How can I push my desire for eco-friendly transportation further? The obvious answer: Take the bus.
I can’t walk down the street without passing a METRO bus, but I’d never been on one. Neither have most of the people I know, with two exceptions: Portland City Councilor Kevin Donoghue and my sister. A few months ago, I saw Kevin at an art opening and he spoke very highly of the bus service. This prompted me to pick up a METRO map and just as promptly get discouraged as I couldn’t figure out how to read it.
But a week ago, I sat down with the map and spent half an hour figuring it out. Then I called my sister, Kay-Lee, and asked if she wanted to go to lunch at Burrito! in Westbrook. The catch: We’d have to take the bus. Unlike Kevin, my sister doesn’t speak as highly about the bus, but being a good sport, she agreed to be my guide on the journey.
First I ask her for some bus riding advice.
Her reply: “Dress warm if it’s winter and bring reading material. And bring a cloth to cover your nose with in case you’re next to a person with bad hygiene.”
My sister is a hair stylist, so bad hygiene is a top sin in her book (right up there with bad hair days). She also informed me that I’d need exact change ($1.25) to take the bus for a spin. Since I’m a debit card kinda girl, I made a special trip to the bank to get dollar bills and quarters before we embarked on our adventure.
So, armed with exact change, two bus maps, a hat, a scarf (doubles as protection against bad hygiene) and no reading material (I forgot the Press Herald on my desk in my rush to get exact change), I headed over to the Elm Street PULSE, which is the primary hub for Portland’s bus system. Here’s my story:
11:27 am Bus 4 (the Westbrook route) arrives. It’s one of the new natural gas buses (and not the diesel spewing variety of my youth). We hop on, deposit our cash and grab two seats in the front. I place my handbag on the floor and then lift it to my lap to find a pen. I now have bus floor gunk all over my black pants. Note to self: Don’t ever put a purse on a bus floor.
11:31 am The bus pulls away from the curb, heads down Elm Street and then turns onto Portland Street, with a stop at the Post Office. A family gets on with a baby carriage and the driver lets them store it up front. Family-friendly, that’s cool.
11:40 am We’re now on Brighton Avenue. I’m thinking this bus thing isn’t so bad. Maybe I’ll be riding it all the time.
11:46 am We roll through the Rosemont neighborhood. I’m starting to get a little nervous. Will the bus stop anywhere near Burrito!? Will we be stranded on the bus forever? Will we wander the streets of Westbrook aimlessly? I try to hope for the best.
11:51 am Now we’re headed past the Pine Tree Shopping Center. Uh, oh. I’m starting to feel motion sickness coming on. (This is a common occurrence for me, but one I forgot to plan for. I blame this lack of preparedness on my obsession with exact change.)
12:05 pm As we pass the Dana Warp mill, we suddenly notice the sign on the window next to our seats that tells us these spots are reserved for seniors and disabled folks. Ooops. Our bad.
12:09 pm We’re now somewhere called Westbrook Gardens. We may as well be in a foreign country. We have no idea how we got here and would be lost forever if we had to get out and walk. Note to self: Don’t ever get off a bus in unfamiliar territory.
12:14 pm We’re on Main Street. Back to civilization. But not back to full health. “I hope I don’t puke on you,” I say to my sister. “Yes, I do too,” she replies. “That’s on my list of things I hope for.”
12:17 pm If I don’t get off this bus soon, I really am going to be sick. Note to self: Bring Dramamine, fresh ginger or a barf bag the next time I take a bus.
12:19 pm Thank god. We made it! We stagger inside Burrito! and order up some much needed lunch. So delicious. I also order a ginger beer, which does wonders for my stomach.
12:58 pm We finish lunch and now start to wonder how we’ll get back on another bus. We study our map. We debate which side of the street to wait on. We head outside.
1:13 pm Yup, we’re standing by a sign waiting for the bus. To be honest, we feel a little silly standing idly on the side of the street. We’re also cold.
1:26 pm We see a patch of sunlight a few yards from our sign. We decide to move over and soak up the warmth. I put on my ski cap.
1:32 pm Yea! The bus arrives. This time it’s a diesel bus, and it’s packed with a mix of teens, older folks, young professionals and moms with kids.
1:35 pm We pull into the Westbrook Hannaford. The guys behind us are talking about their parole officers. We hide our wallets.
1:53 pm We pass USM. My sister and I discuss how we’ll get back to her house in the West End. She proposes walking. I argue for taking a bus. She grudgingly agrees.
2:03 pm We get off at the artsy bus shelter near Monument Square. This shelter has heaters, so it’s semi-warm. We get out a map and study the Bus 8 route, which is the Peninsula Loop.
2:14 pm Bus 8 zooms past, but it’s on the other side of the street. Hmmm.
2:15 pm A bearded man walks by carrying a sign reading “Free Hugs.” Interesting.
2:18 pm Still waiting. We’re also breathing a heavy dose of cigarette smoke coming from a woman with a baby carriage standing just outside the bus shelter. Classy.
2:20 pm Finally, Bus 8 is here. This one is covered in a wrap-around ad, which makes peering out the windows next to impossible. We sit in the back, across from a young guy typing away on his Blackberry and an older guy eating chocolate truffles.
2:30 pm We arrive at the Ferry Terminal. If I could see out the window, I might be able to check out the whaling wall on the Maine State Pier. Instead all I see is a blur.
2:33 pm We drive up India Street and past Angela Adams. I lust after her yummy rugs. Good thing I can’t see them.
2:36 pm We stop at Franklin Towers. I’m feeling sleepy. If we had walked (or gotten on the #8 bus heading the other way) we’d be at my sister’s house by now.
2:47 pm We stop at the Forest Avenue Hannaford. Hey, I thought this was the Peninsula Loop?
2:57 pm Now we’re cruising by Monument Square again. Oh look! There’s Mister Free Hugs holding up his sign. So sad, no one is hugging him.
3:00 pm We stop outside Pom’s Thai Taste. I start lusting after Thai food. My sister, not so much. She’s now feeling car sick and wishes she had had a ginger beer.
3:07 pm We hop off the bus at the corner of Pine and Danforth streets. Oh, the smell of fresh air! After all this sitting around, it’s great to stretch our legs.
3:12 pm We make it back to my sister’s apartment. We use the bathroom, we lay on the couch, we wish we had a bottle of wine. I contemplate my next bus adventure. I hear the bus to Falmouth isn’t bad. Anyone want to catch a movie at the Regal Cinemas? I’ll bring the ginger beer.