Brian knows that smoking is dangerous. He knows that cigarettes cause cancer and heart disease. He knows that they contribute to lung disease in innocent bystanders. He doesn’t like being the only smoker in our family. He has received a lot of negative feedback from his three physician sisters, his physician father and his medical student brother — and perhaps even more negative feedback from his mother and the rest of his 10 siblings.
People who smoke are used to negative feedback. They get it all the time. Smoking is harder to hide than other habits. With the possible exception of people who are addicted to food, people who smoke are perhaps the most visible of all addicts. They smell like cigarettes. They sport nicotine-stained skin, teeth and hair. They engage in their addiction in front of us, huddled near backdoors and workplace entrances in all types of inclement weather. Their exposure to the elements rarely bothers us: we figure they deserve what they get for having such a nasty addiction.
We’re not very kind to people who have addictions. They remind us that it is possible to lose control of ourselves. They remind us that sometimes we are powerless in the face of external (or internal) forces.
Most of us have experienced this loss of control — it is part of being human. When we feel sad or vulnerable, we comfort ourselves by overindulging in food, sex, work, shopping, drugs, alcohol or other sorrow-soothers. Over time, overindulging can become an addiction.
Unfortunately, the smoker’s addiction is particularly difficult to escape. The average smoker attempts to quit nine times before succeeding. According to Barbara Perry, program manager for Maine’s Center for Tobacco Independence, “the key to working with people who are trying to quit is to meet them where they are. It’s important to find out how they feel about quitting and what they have tried in the past.”
We need to meet people who smoke where they are. If they want more information on quitting, we can refer them to the Maine Tobacco Helpline (800-207-1230), or the MaineHealth Learning Resource Centers (781-1730). We can help them celebrate the Great American Smokeout on Nov. 17. We can comfort them, distract them and support them in any way that works for them.
When Brian decides to quit, I will be here to support him. He is getting close, and I know he can do it. I hope he will decide to try soon: I love my brown-eyed baby brother, and I want to enjoy the company of this ex-Marine for many years to come.
Dr. Lisa Belisle is a family physician and advisor for the MaineHealth Learning Resource Centers. She practices medical acupuncture in Yarmouth, where she lives with her husband and three children, and is frequently visited by her brother Brian.