Were there any signs leading up to the diagnosis or were you completely surprised?
I was diagnosed on Friday August 3, 2007 with Stage 2B Infiltrating Mammary Carcinoma with Metastasis in 3 Auxiliary Lymph Nodes. I am also a Triple Negative Breast Cancer which means I tested negative for Estrogen and Progesterone Receptors which basically means that my tumor was not caused by hormones. And I tested negative for the Her-2 neu receptor but that is a little more technical.
[ Some basic info about Triple Negative Breast Cancer: Depending on its stage of diagnosis, triple negative breast cancer can be extremely aggressive and more likely to recur and metastasize than other subtypes of breast cancer. It typically is responsive to chemotherapy, although it can be more difficult to treat because it is unresponsive to the most effective receptor targeted treatments. Triple negative breast cancer accounts for approximately 15% of all breast cancer cases. It occurs most often in African American and younger women. Because it is a recently recognized form of breast cancer, there is very little known about its pathology. Thus, there is an urgent need for targeted research and better treatment options for this disease. (Info taken from the website for the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation at [[ http://www.tnbcfoundation.org | www.tnbcfoundation.org ]].) ]
Well, I owe my discovery of my own breast cancer to bowling. Yes, bowling! My husband and I were invited to go bowling with our friends Cindy (of The Hot Tarts) and her girlfriend Nikki. Now, I am not the most in-shape person. And I certainly didn’t really think that I needed to be in shape for bowling of all things. Well, it turns out ya kinda do. I got home and was getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth and I noticed that my right side was a little sore. I started feeling around my right boob and realized that I pulled a friggin muscle bowling! Well, all this feeling of my right boob led to me feeling around on my left. I didn’t pull a muscle on my left side (cause I am right handed) but I did notice a sizable lump about 1 inch above my nipple. It was a decent size about 3 cents across, hard, didn’t really move and it also didn’t hurt when I pushed on it. I freaked out! I called my husband into the bathroom immediately and asked him to feel the lump. He said he hadn’t noticed it before and it seemed new to him. (Now my husband is a total boob guy and can’t keep his hands off my (breasts) so I knew he was a reliable person to ask!) I joked the rest of the night about how I had breast cancer and how I was going to die.
This drove my husband Michael crazy. We both decided it was a good idea to make an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get checked. I was due for my annual anyway. I went the following Thursday. I had my annual gyn visit and the nurse checked my boobies. She didn’t seem overly concerned because 9 out of every 10 lumps are benign and not breast cancer. She made an appointment at Mercy Hospital for a mammogram a week later. I wasn’t overly concerned either, but my intuition told me that I had breast cancer. When I went for my appointment I had my mammogram. They looked at my results right away and told me that they wanted to do and ultra-sound right then because they did see something and wanted to have a more thorough test. While I was lying on the ultrasound table and from the expression (that the technician was trying to hide) I knew something was up. Then I waited forever on the table for the doctor to come in after the test was over to tell me that he saw something “suspicious” and wanted me to have a biopsy the following week.
I was worried. Then the biopsy. And 2 days later I was told by my new doctor that I did indeed have breast cancer.
I was shocked, scared and a little numb. My husband took the news really badly. I went about my day, helping an artist install at Geno’s and I had a gig with By Blood Alone that night. I decided that I needed to do the gig regardless of my news. I had never sang so good as I did that night.
Give us an idea of what the expenses are like for treatment.
I was granted free care at Mercy Hospital for my radiation treatments. If I had not gotten approved the treatments would have cost $5,000-$7,000. Chemotherapy drugs cost between $8,000-$11,000. I have been approved for Maine RX, so my prescription medication will run me about $50 a month. My naturopathic doctor costs $90-$– per visit. Radiologist bills range from about $1,000-$5,000. My biggest concern is I cannot work — I wait tables, and it is a physically demanding job — due to my surgery and chemotherapy. My husband has been taking time off to take care of me. So I am really concerned with just paying our everyday living expenses.
You’ve written that you may not have “monetary savings to speak of” but you “have my savings in people.” How has the support of the community affected you?
Since my diagnosis almost 2 months ago I have learned many things. One the biggest commodities that I have as my treasure is the Portland artist/musician/business community. I am so lucky to be a party of this community. Everyone around me from my closest friends and family to my local bar/restaurant has offered their support in one way or another. I told my friend Boo (Covered in Bees) that I needed my plums harvested and he put together a group of people to pick my plums! My friend Mark Lennon (Twisted Roots) and my band mate Rowan Bishop designed and put up a website for me called www.benefitformelynda.org. My friends, my sister Raina, and Geno’s started organizing a benefit concert and art auction for me as soon as they learned of my diagnosis. Bands and artists offered their music and art in support of me. I received random checks from local business owners like Norm’s and Ireland’s Crystal and Crafts to help with my bills. It was so overwhelming, (in a good way) for my husband and I. We are still trying to go through all the food that was dropped on our doorstep each day.
I am so thankful for the people that are in my life. And through this devastating time for me and my family I have drawn so much strength from all of those around me. I hope that everyone in this community realizes what a wonderful place we live in. Even in the darkest of times for an individual, creativity and love abounds! It simply amazes me, but in the same breath I am not surprised at all. I have been a part of this community since I moved here in January 1999. I have done everything in my being to contribute to the creative community as much as possible. And now when I need help, everyone is here for me, from strangers to my closest friends.
Portland should be the model for the rest of this nation. Where the nation falls short and depredated, this community picks up its slack. Even though Portland is a city, it still has much of that small town axiom of taking care of its own. My community has and continues to do that for me and my biggest hope is that I will be able to repay that favor to it someday.
Do you have plans to educate women on breast cancer? Will you use your music?
I have definite plans to educate as many women in our community as possible and I first plan to use the benefits set up for me to do so. My diagnosis alone has already caused many of my close girlfriends to check their boobies either by self examination or with a doctor. I have begun to research how I can be involved with the Maine affiliate of the Susan G. Komen for a Cure - [[ http://www.komenmaine.com | www.komenmaine.com ]]. And I plan to organize events to benefit this organization.
[ Some info on its views taken from website: Our Promise - The Susan G. Komen for the Cure promise: To save lives and end breast cancer forever by empowering people, ensuring quality care for all and energizing science to find the cures. Our Core Values - Inclusion to embrace the uniqueness of every individual. Stewardship to be accountable for our performance, individually and collectively. Honesty to foster a community of trust and integrity. Openness to seek out new ideas and new ways of thinking. Passion to demonstrate personal commitment to our Promise. Empowerment to entrust others and hold yourself accountable. ]
I have ordered much educational material to be given out for free to all people who attend any of the benefits that are organized for me in the next couple of months as well as my band’s CD release party in October. These materials will have information on how to give breast self-examinations and also much info on early signs and treatments of the disease. There will also be pink ribbon paraphernalia available for the taking to help increase awareness of this very prevalent disease. I plan to do as much as I can in the next coming months (provided I feel good and energized) to help raise awareness of breast cancer especially in young women.
And I would also like to focus a bit on my own diagnosis of triple negative breast cancer and the foundation associated with it. My goals are the same as theirs with this particular diagnosis which is to ignite interest in the study of triple negative breast cancer among researchers, physicians, educators and scientists, to support professionals seeking to identify the cause(s) of triple negative breast cancer, to discover new and effective treatment options and to increase public awareness and support of this sub-type of breast cancer.
As far as using my music to do so... that is a really good question. I am sure I will. I haven’t been focused on writing at the moment. We are just finishing up our full length CD called “Seas of Blood” to be released in early October (it sounds killer by the way). Our CD release party will also be a benefit show for me. By Blood Alone will have a guest vocalist, Aepril Schaile, for that night and Ogre and Big Coffin Hunters are also playing. I am sure that my writing will certainly be influenced by my diagnosis and I intend to increase awareness at each and every By Blood Alone show.
Right now I would say that my message of education and awareness is going full force through my visual artwork. I am getting ready for a show of work at Geno’s for the first Friday in October. Much of the subject matter is taken from photographs taken at my head shaving party that we hosted at my home where me and eight of my friends shaved our heads! I plan on using this artwork to make a calendar to help raise funds for these aforementioned organizations and also Maine Breast and Cervical Health Care Program. I am in the process of donating my car to this organization as well (band bumper stickers and all!).
[ The Mission of The Maine Breast and Cervical Health Program is to provide breast and cervical cancer screening and diagnosis services to underserved women, to provide public and professional education, and to support community partnerships to enhance statewide cancer control activities. The Vision of The Maine Breast and Cervical Health Program is to reduce the morbidity and mortality of breast and cervical cancers among all Maine women. The program promotes a better quality of life for women and their families, which benefits all Maine communities. ]
How is this experiencing changing you and potentially your music?
Well, cancer has been a huge kick in my cosmic ass. I am being forced to take better care of myself. I am concerned with making sure that I am taking care of myself before all others. If I am not well enough to exist for myself then I am not well enough to help anyone else. I have much more to offer this world and I feel that I have certain gifts that I need to enhance and develop more to help enrich my own life and in turn it will enrich those around me.
My art is already beginning to flourish from this disease. Maybe it’s the drugs? Or maybe it’s because we as humans are so fragile but at the same time so squishy and meaty and beautiful. The beauty of life has affected my writing and my visual arts tremendously. I have begun writing my book again which will also have a soundtrack written for it as well by me. I have big plans, in between the chemo fog and the puking I will create if it kills me. All I can think about right now is how I can make things even more beautiful around me. And of course inside of me. It sounds so cheesy, but it is true.
Hello Cancer?
Yes.
It's Melynda.
Oh..
You are in some serious need of a makeover! And I am just the bitch to do it!