This leaves little time to make new friends and get invites out. Her first birthday in Maine was three years ago, and we had no one to invite because we didn’t know anyone. At her second party just one — that’s right, one — friend showed up. Last year’s party was better attended, but the adults by far outnumber the little ones.
“I know! I’ll take her to Funtown!,” I reveled aloud this year. She’s been asking to go since she watched the commercial three years ago. Going to Funtown instead of having a birthday party would solve the nobody-comes-to-my-birthday problem.
I checked out the website and they were still open. But $25 a ticket? For us to take her and a friend that’s $100 before we even begin to think about playing the squirt-the-water-in-the-clown-mouth-and-win-a-stuffed-animal-you-don’t-want game or buying funnel cakes and cotton candy and hot dogs that make you vomit.
Regardless of this overpriced BS, I planned the trip. Until I saw the weather report a few days before — rain showers. Crap.
“Winter, it’s supposed to rain on your birthday. What else do you want to do instead of Funtown?” I sheepishly queried, expecting tears and accusations of ruining her life.
“Can we go see ‘The Simpsons’ movie again?” she asked without a shred of bereavement for the loss of Funtown.
The relief that showered me was greater than the precipitation in the forecast. “Yes!” I shouted as if I had won Plinko on “The Price is Right.”
And then I realized: We now need to have a birthday party. Instantly we planned a Friday evening get-together, drew up invitations for school friends and emailed and called everyone we knew to request their last-minute presence.
As the party was coming together, I racked my brain for gift ideas. Sure, I could buy Brat dolls and Littlest Pet Shop toys for her and she’d be happy, but I don’t subscribe to that sort of oversized-head-toy purchasing. This required a trip to Newbury Comics where I purchased the 10th season of “The Simpsons,” “Xena: Warrior Princess Special Edition” DVD (my kid is unnaturally obsessed with Xena), a Xena comic book and a 2008 Simpsons calendar. I was going to win the mom-of-the-year award for sure!
In addition to these winning presents, Johnnie (the boyfriend) and I made a glorious cake in the shape of Lisa Simpson’s head. Johnnie, a chef and baker, baked a giant cake which he covered in yellow marzipan and allowed me to decorate to look like Lisa.
And with party foods like pigs in a blanket and ants on a log, what could go wrong? Neither rain, nor big-headed toy loving, nor Xena: Warrior Princess could stop PhenomeMom from planning the super-dee-doooperist birthday ever!
Amy and her 9 year-old daughter, Winter, explore activities that are fun for both mom and kid.